All This Time
by Writing Memories
Summary: What if you had the love of your life, they disappeared and you couldn't find them because you can't remember...either of you can't remember? It's the journey back to each other without knowing it; it's the second journey of their lives back to one another.
1. Stop & Stare

The last time he had done this was when he was a kid. And even as a kid then, it pissed him off. He blamed Sam. If it wasn't for Sam he wouldn't have to be getting a bus right now. Dean could complain about buses all his life. No comfort, always having to sit beside someone, not being able to sing at the top of his lungs along to his music, not being able to stop whenever he wanted, this just completely sucked. Oh and not to mention people always staring at him when he got on buses. He wanted to ring Sam right now and give him hell.

He wished he had his baby, but sadly it is back at Bobby's house getting repaired after he had been involved in a crash a few weeks ago. Dean was more upset about how his car looked than how he felt. No matter how many times Dean was being told how lucky he was to get out of that car alive, the car being smashed between a wall and a lorry, he always just nodded, he knew he was lucky, but his _goddamn_ car. He had gotten so worked up with trying to fix it Bobby had rung up Sam and told him he was sending Dean to him for the weekend. Dean didn't mind until Bobby wouldn't give him a car to drive because Bobby thought Dean needs to heal more and no driving for another few weeks, which led to getting on a bus to visit Sam.

Sam has been in college for the last two years and of course, Dean and Bobby couldn't be prouder. But they missed him a ton. He is two hours away from them and even though it's not that far, Dean misses seeing his brother every day. They had spent years and years together every day, but once the gates to Hell were closed and Heaven got back on the right track again, thanks to Sam and Dean, there was nothing left to hunt for them. And three years have gone by with no sign of cases, no word about Heaven or Hell, just _nothing_. It just stopped. And instead of waiting every day for a new case, just for anything, they decided they had to go on with their lives and if anything ever did come up, they would deal with it when it did. Would anything ever happen in the world of hunting again?

So Sam went back to finish college. He took a different route though; he's becoming a history teacher. Hunting taught him a lot but it made him realise all the research there is of the past, he loved learning about it and even though it wasn't necessarily supernatural stuff he would learn and teach, it is still history, and he loved it. Dean on the other hand never wanted or would go to college. Instead he worked with Bobby repairing vehicles and a year ago Bobby signed the scrap yard over to Dean. He along with Bobby rebuilt the place and it was a damn good job. You wouldn't think it is Bobby's old place anymore.

They are happy, they are all really happy and they are family. This is their life now and they don't regret hunting one bit at all because if none of that had happened, it would have all been different, good or bad, they would never know.

Dean looked down the bus row and of course it is full. He walks down to the back, hoping there are seats and that whoever he sits next to isn't going to talk to him for the whole way. He sees a guy with his hood up, his head against the window and even though Dean can't see his face he's pretty sure he's asleep. He takes the seat next to him and puts down his bag on the ground.

He feels like his nerdy brother with his bag, but he needed one seeing as he is staying the weekend with Sam. Not that there is much in his bag except for food. He knows Sam will just have healthy food and he hasn't got a clue what the shops around him will have.

The bus starts moving again and he has two hours to kill on a bus. Sam told him to get an IPod, but in the words of Dean, _They are stupid with their stupid little headphones._ Dean tried once to listen to Sam's but he didn't even get through half of the song before throwing it back at Sam and nearly knocking him out. So Dean crosses his arms and looks out of the window. His eyes glance to the guy asleep every few minutes; he hasn't moved an inch yet, _good_. He leans over a little to see his face, but the hood is covering most of it.

If the guy next to him was Sam instead of a random stranger a million ideas would run through Dean's head, all about what to do to him while he's sleeping. He feels tempted to do something to this dude, but then he remembers that that might be a little creepy.

It's been half an hour on the bus and Dean already feels like jumping out the exit of it. He decides to text Sam.

_I hate buses. Damn Bobby and YOU for not letting me drive yet. I have gone through worse than a car crash. I've been to Hell remember!_

The noise of the message after being sent is loud enough to wake the guy beside Dean. Dean would beat himself if he wasn't on a bus. The guy lifts his head up and pulls down his hood. Dean pretends to be on his phone. The guy has earphones in his ears and Dean glances over at the guy's hands to see him taking out an IPod from his pocket. He pulls out the earphones and looks over at Dean who doesn't take his eyes away from the guy's face. Now it's the guy's turn to stare at Dean. He never even noticed someone sitting down beside him. He gives a shy smile to Dean.

"I never noticed anyone sitting beside me." Dean nods his head a little and then looks in front of him, clearing his throat.

"You um…you were asleep and I was afraid that anyone else I would sit beside to wouldn't shut up, so…" The guy chuckles and starts wrapping the earphones' wire around the IPod that isn't on.

"I'm not the only unsocial one then. I don't even listen to the IPod. It just stops people from talking to me." He shrugs his shoulders and looks at Dean who looks back at him.

"Well, I guess seeing as you're unsociable too and can be honest about it, I don't mind you. What's your name Mr. Unsociable?" Dean is surprised at himself for even talking to this guy. He wouldn't usually. It has nothing to do with the fact that Dean thinks that this guy is unusual and feels like Dean in a way. There's just _something_ about him.

"Cast…Casey Novak." He nearly slipped up, like he does every time. The name doesn't feel right, but it's the closest to his real first name. He wanted to tell this guy, _My name is Castiel. _He knew that maybe he could, but saying his real name out loud to someone he just met would feel like somehow, this guy would find out who he was. But how could he?

"Okay, _Casey_. My name is Dean."

"No last name, Dean?" That name makes Castiel smile, but why?

"I don't tell strangers my last name, Casey Novak." Dean lets himself chuckle at the look on Castiel's face.

"I would hardly call myself a stranger. We bonded over not wanting to bond with people." Castiel picks up his bag and throws his IPod into it. He takes out his bottle of water and puts the bag back onto the ground. He looks like he's thinking about something.

"What?" Dean asks "You look like you're thinking of murdering someone."

"I want a burger. Like, _really badly_ want one." Castiel says to himself and takes a drink from his water. Dean likes this guy more every second that passes.

"_Dude_, I was fine. I was hardly thinking about food and then you mention burgers and now that is what I am going to think about for the next hour and a half." He hates this guy and likes him at the same time. He probably won't get a decent burger for the next two days now thanks to Sam.

"Good thing we are stopping in half an hour near a lot of food places. They always do it seeing as there are people on the bus for hours." Castiel could not wait for his burger, he knew he should stop eating so many of them but come on; he is never going to do that. "If you are being serious with me, I will buy you a burger when we get there." Okay, Dean doesn't understand why he is acting like this. He never buys anyone food. Only for himself, but Castiel just made him have hope that he can survive this trip.

Castiel nods in agreement and gives Dean a smile. He would never usually agree with someone buying him food, but he liked this guy, more than he felt he should.

He hadn't trusted anyone in years except for his sister because she was all he could trust. Every time he thinks about everything that has happened, he forgets more and more of it, every time. A flashback appears in his mind of he and his sister running. Then everything starts to fade and someone is standing in front of them smiling, and then he's back in the bus with someone he just met. Maybe he will ask his sister when he sees her today if she ever has these flashbacks. When memories like this happen they try to tell each other what they can remember and put the pieces together. How they are now here on Earth and they are safe.

The last thing either of them can remember is taking away their own grace and the next second being on earth and beginning to start a life here because it's what they wanted and what they got.

The worse thing about being human is that every day their memories as Angels fade more and more and eventually, one day they won't remember anything that happened when they were Angels, just the fact they were angels who wanted out.

* * *

"Okay, I honestly didn't think I would taste a great burger for days, but… boy I was wrong." Dean looked at his burger with eyes that looked like they had seen the first ever burger to be made. Castiel had already finished his burger five minutes ago. He couldn't look at his burger forever without eating it all, but Dean could and that made Cas laugh. Their bus wasn't leaving for another ten minutes. So they sat at the bus station café and waited till it was departing again.

"So where are you heading to, Casey?" Dean paused "I don't like that name. I'm gonna call you…Cas." Dean said as he puts his down burger for a second.

_Your name is Castiel. Dude, no, that sounds too old. I'm calling you Cas._

"Buddy, come back to life for me." Castiel's eyes fell open and looked to the amused Dean.

"Sorry, I have memories suddenly sometimes with my past ." Castiel tries pulling himself out of the words and the blurry figure he saw in front of him.

"It's okay. I do too with things. So Cas, you didn't answer me, where you going? To a girlfriend…boyfriend…any living thing?" The side of Castiel's mouth curled up at the words. Honestly, he had never been in a relationship, unless watching TV shows could be called being in a relationship. Castiel, or as Dean calls him now, Cas, shakes his head.

"No, nothing like that. I am visiting my sister in college. She just started this year." Cas is very proud of her. They had been true so much together and to see his sister really happy, made Cas just as happy.

"Let me guess, AIOT?" Cas nods. "My brother's there too. Been there for two years now. I'm going there today as well. What are the chances my brother and your sister know each other?"

"Well, my sister likes to know everyone."

"And my brother likes to be super friendly and chat with everyone, so yeah apparently, very big chance."

"What are the chances you would end up sitting beside me when we're going to the same place?" Cas says. He doesn't expect an answer, but he is going to get one. Dean folds his arms across his chest and then onto the table and looks Cas straight in the eyes.

"Well, _Cas_, I only sit beside unsociable handsome guys." At that second the announcement that the bus would be leaving in two minutes is announced over the speakers. Castiel didn't hear it, but Dean did. "Alright let's get going bus-buddy to visit our siblings." Dean took the last bite of his burger, got up and took his bag from the chair. Cas looked to Dean standing up and guessed he should be doing that too, so he does, pushing the thing Dean said to the back of his mind.

Dean walks in front of Castiel to the bus and grins to himself. _Well, a part of that is a lie, but the handsome part, Cas is just that. _And he had said 'screw gender' years ago. Even though he had only ever been with girls, it didn't mean he would never be with a guy. One day he could like girls, but the next he could meet a guy and like him. It's the person you fall for, right? Not the gender.

Okay, Cas hasn't got a clue when it comes to liking anyone, let alone falling for somebody he just met less than an hour ago. He had learned about relationships and love and whatever else from TV and films. But his sister had said it was all so far fetched that it wasn't the way it worked in reality. But Cas thought different. Why could it not be? There are billions of people in the world, they all have different lives, no one knows everyone's story about everything and so yes, love in shows and films could be truly real. They had to get it from somewhere.

* * *

"I'm sorry, you _what_? How have you never heard of any of those bands? You would have had to be in coma to not hear about those bands and I am sure even people in comas have heard of the greatest bands ever." Dean just could not understand it. This guy, Cas, he really is something else.

"You seem…_passionate_ about this music they play?" Cas knew the answer already, but it's all he knew what to say too, Dean.

"That's one word for it. Your sister will probably know them. Wait, seeing as we are going to the same place and staying for the weekend, I am going to find you and rob my brother's laptop to let you listen to them because you have not lived until you have listened to their music." Dean says when they're stepping out of the bus. He doesn't want it this to be the last time he sees Cas, and seeing as they are going to the same place, why not.

"I'll take your word for it. I might have heard their songs in shows and films. I watch a lot of them." Dean gets a little nervous when Cas doesn't mention anything about meeting up. _Crap_. Maybe he shouldn't have… "And yes, we can do that. My sister will probably drive me mad in the first few hours and I'll need to escape." Okay, so now he can relax a little, but he still needs a little hint to see if Cas has a little interest in him. He has never looked at another guy or seen another guy in the way he sees Casey. "What about tonight? At 10 O'clock? Sitting somewhere around the college. I'll be the guy hiding from his sister."

"And I'll be the guy running from his brother." There are no more words after that because Cas falls back asleep in minutes. Dean looks at the sleeping Cas every so often. He isn't wearing the hood now and well, Dean can see _much_ better now.

_Don't be a creep, Dean. DON'T. BE. A, CREEP._

* * *

_Hi! So this is a little story I finished a few months back and was getting it corrected and then only had enough time now to look through it again and put it up! I was going to put it all up in one go. It's about 18 to 19 thousand words so I will split it in at least three parts, if not four. Really hope you enjoyed it so far and let me know your thoughts on it! Next chapter up on TUESDAY :D Thank you a lot for reading! AND too JOHANNA for being the first too read this and making it better...THANK YOU! :)_

**_'The quietest people have the loudest minds.'_**


	2. Someone I Need

"_Sammy_!" Dean as he grabs Sam into a massive hug. He hasn't seen Sam for weeks and that's like a year to them and they know what a year apart feels like. Sam hugs back just as tight as Dean.

"Hold on, did you cut your hair?!" Dean said and he pulls back from the hug. Sam's hair has got shorter, but it was still long.

"Yeah, never again! I just wanted a little bit off and where I went, they took off like half of it." Sam looks annoyed for a second at remembering what was done to his hair, but that quickly fades and his smile returns. "And what's up with you? You're smiling freakishly weird. Like way more than you usually do when you've seen me."

"First of all drama queen, hair grows back and second I haven't seen you since my accident and it's nice to be here with you rather than looking at Bobby all the time. That man is not pretty to look at when you end up pissing him of every day. Now little brother, get me a beer and fill me in on the college life."

* * *

Sam is falling asleep, but he tries to wake himself up every time in the college pub. His brother is here and he wants to spend time with him. Not even the music in the bar they were in could keep him awake. He had one hell of a week at college and he just needs sleep.

"Sammy, go to bed. I'll be fine here. I'll head back to the apartment in a while." Sam gives in after just a few seconds and heads out of the pub. Dean checks his phone that reads 9:55. He needs to get out of here. Firstly the music and beer being are terrible and secondly, Cas. He wonders if Cas has forgotten. Only one way to find out.

Cas had told his sister he had a massive headache and needed to go for a walk. It is the only way he could get away from her talking and talking and talking. He is glad she is having a great time in college, but there are only so many replies he had for her stories. She was about to go with him but he said he would be fine and would take his phone with him. He didn't think she would agree so quickly, but thankfully she did.

Now he is on his way to see Dean again. He feels nervous, but excited at the same time. He wonders if this is what the people in the shows and films he has watched feel. There is a part of him saying _Turn back. It's a mistake. You just met him and you are feeling like this. You can't feel like this from meeting someone just hours ago. _But then the _screw it, if you don't take a chance you will never know _part takes over and he always listens to that part instead.

Cas was lost before today. He didn't have a clue what to do with this life. He just needed a reason to know giving up his grace meant something. That this life had something better than being an angel, but now he can hardly remember being an angel, so was it really that bad to give it all away for a life he's lost in. Maybe it is. There was a reason he did it, a reason he can't remember anymore, so he's lost in this world looking for that reason, no matter how long it may take because it's the only reason he gave it all up. What he would give to remember. All he has is these stupid flashbacks of nothing useful, just pain.

He is glad he wore his dark green jacket over his hoodie because even with all of them on he can still feel the cold, but he doesn't mind, he can stand that little bit of cold. He wanders around the campus building, walking up the lit walkway towards a seating area that has a shelter over it. He doesn't feel like going into any parts of the college seeing as he isn't a student. He knows no one will notice, but he'd rather be out here, feeling the cold, and looking up to the now dark sky and being surrendered by hardly any sound at all and the lights lighting up the walkway. It's pretty beautiful.

"I heard this is the sociable awkward peoples table." Dean's voice makes him, jump a little, but then Cas smiles at him. Dean walks into the seating area and takes a seat beside where Castiel is sat with his legs crossed. "You didn't make me finding you difficult did you?" Dean takes his scarf off, unfolds it and throws it over Cas' head. "Cas? Where are you?" Dean pretends to look around him, holding in his laughter.

"I may be under a scarf…that…wait…" Cas pulls the scarf off him and looks to Dean. "Does your scarf smell of pie?" Castiel asks more than amused. Dean takes the scarf off him.

"_No_, how, why would you think that? It smells nothing like pie. It just smells like a scarf." Dean knew right well it smelled of pie. Of course it would when he wraps pie in his scarf to keep it warm. "Anyways, did your sister drive you made already?" Dean said changing the subject. Or so he hoped it would anyways.

"Yes and No. I said I had a headache and that I needed to go for a walk on my own. What about your brother?"

"Well, Sammy wasn't too bad. But he was falling asleep in the bar and I told him to go to bed. By the way if you want crap music and bad beer go into that bar. They have good peanuts and crisps though, _I will_ say that."

_His brother. He's Sam. You know what he's capable of? What runs through his veins? _

Dean doesn't have time to notice Castiel tuning out for a second from past memory words or whatever it was. He couldn't be sure. He didn't want to be. He hadn't had these flashbacks in ages and they used to play tricks on him so he stopped thinking what they meant, and he wasn't going to start thinking about them again. He couldn't change his past, but the past is not coming into his future.

"Well, seeing as we aren't going there maybe we can play a game. We get five questions to ask each other. And the person who can't answer one of them, the other gets to dare them to do something. It's a game my sister likes to play with everyone."

"You got yourself a deal, Cas."

"Seeing as you asked me about my career history, tell me yours?" Dean asks. Dean has stuck to what he tells any new person that asks. Being in the family business of helping people with their vehicles that his dad had started it after their Mum passed away. It was mostly true except it was hunting, not repairing vehicles, either way you're fixing things in the world aren't you?

" I've just always wanted to help others and I did it for a very long time but one day I moved somewhere else and it was harder to do that. So I stopped helping people so much. I just volunteer at local shelters and youth clubs nowadays. It's still helping so I am happy when I get to do that. And plus the rest of the time I get to stay at home and watch TV and films." He probably could though. But what was the point. Complaining won't do anything. Doing something about it will.

"The world needs more people like you, Cas. It really does!" Dean wasn't joking. He is truly honest about that. Heaven, Hell, Earth, Purgatory and beyond, they all need a Cas there to make those places okay.

"Okay, my turn again." Dean has to ask this next question. Call him crazy, but he does not want to leave here without kissing Cas, but first he wants to know an answer to an important question. Castiel looks at him with wonder in his eyes. This was Dean's last question, so he may as well make it a good one.

* * *

It is lashing rain outside now and Dean had moved to the other side of the table after Castiel's second question when his legs started to get pins and needles. He decided it was a good decision because he could see Cas so much more clearly. He loved that Cas never questioned why he would look at him so long or how he wouldn't take his eyes away from Dean's when Dean looked to him. There would be times when it was Dean's turn to ask a question and Cas had to actually tell him it was his turn.

"Have you ever been in love, Cas?" Dean sees the change in Cas' eyes. Like Dean said something hurtful and Cas looks away. Dean doesn't say anymore and waits for Cas to answer him.

"Um, I don't know. I can't…remember. I feel like I was falling in love once. But it was like a dream." Cas looks to Dean. "It was so fast like a dream ending and it was like waking up and trying to remember it and all you know, all you can _feel_, is a feeling that tells you what the dream was about." Cas then sits up more straighter like he just pulled himself out of his words. "And that is the only time I felt that feeling, so maybe. _Maybe_ I was in love once." Well, that was a hell of an answer. If Cas had asked himself that question, he would of said _no_. But everything Cas just said, Dean knew what he meant, more than he wanted to. Dean wanted to say something to comfort Cas, even though he didn't know what. So he settles for looking at Cas' messy hair. His black fringe pushed to the side, but started to fall all over his forehead again. If it got any longer it would be in his eyes. Dean could never let his hair get that long, it would just down right piss him of, but he likes it on Cas.

Cas pulls the sleeves of his jacket up over his hands to cover them. He looks down while doing it and starts to play with the end of one of his sleeves.

"It's a good feeling though, isn't it?" Dean broke the silence and Castiel is grateful for that because he was pretty much lost for words at that moment. Dean continues: "I felt it once too. I've never admitted that to anyone before. But I did. My brother would give me hell for me taking the piss out of him all these years about him falling in love. He had it. And he had the girl. I guess that's life for you though. Sometimes it won't let you know what it is taking from you, but yet the feeling will always be there." Dean felt like he just broke down one of his walls. The way that was built from day one and never crumbled until this second. What the hell was happening to him?

_Cas_

"Okay, no more talking about this. Your turn to ask a question." Castiel nodded his head and smiled.

"Are you really freaking cool right now?" They both chuckled.

"I don't know. Are my hands cool?" Dean leaned over and put his hands on Cas' check. Castiel slapped at Dean's hands. Dean's hands were just making Cas more cold.

"Damn you! They're freezing. Their like ice!" Cas is laughing as he tries to shout at Dean. Cas puts his hood up and lies his head on his folded arms on the table. Dean's still laughing and starts to poke the side of Cas' face. "_Dean_!" Cas mumbles into his arms. Dean stops laughing and smiles.

"I was going to do that to you on the bus when I was sitting beside you because you were asleep." Cas lays his chin on top of his folded arms and looks to Dean.

"You don't poke strangers on a bus you weirdo." Cas can't stop the smile from spreading across his face. Dean was actually going to do that. In fairness he probably would have ended up waking up suddenly and hitting Dean. "Now time for my serious question. Are you a spy that followed me and likes asking personal questions so you can find out about my life?"

"I can't say. I'm under strict orders to not talk about my career." Cas lifts his head back up and squints his eyes.

"If you don't answer my question you have to do a dare." Cas says.

"Fine. Dare me."

"Run out in the rain for twenty seconds." Dean looks from Cas to the campus grounds. It's lasting rain, in the middle of November and its freezing cold and that's what he dares him to do. Cas doesn't think he's going to do it, but when Dean gets up and stands at the edge of the shelter and turns back around to Cas he knows he's going to do it.

"If I die from this, you're going down with me." And then Dean is out in the pouring rain. Running down the campus. Cas stands up and walks to the end of the shelter. He laughs as he watches Dean running down the small hill with his arms outstretched. He's not long turning back and running up the hill. Cas can see from here that he's completely soaked. He feels even colder by just looking at Dean.

"You son of a bitch!" He shouts to Castiel and walks the rest of the way. His hair is dripping with water and his clothes are soaked. Dean is just a few feet away and Castiel backs away from Dean, he knows what he's going to try to do to him. "Cas, come here."

"No, no, no. Go away. That was your dare." Dean doesn't listen he just walks into the shelter and looks to Cas behind a table. Dean jumps over the table and blocks the only way Cas can get without jumping over the table. "Dean…_Dean_, don't. _Please_. I'll buy you breakfast tomorrow if you don't. And I'll give you my jacket to wear so you don't have to wear your soaked one." Cas points a finger at him. Dean stops and thinks about that.

"Okay. I wasn't going to do it, but if you insist." Castiel sticks out his tongue and takes off his coat as Dean takes of his soaked one. He hands his coat to Dean who puts it on while Cas zips up his hoodie. Cas' jacket fits Dean and is really warm.

"Okay, I'm not as cold now. But…" Dean runs his hand through his soaked hair and wipes his wet hand over Castiel's face. "Now we're good." Dean laughs as he looks atCas' pissed off face. "Sorry, _sorry_. You can dare me to do something else because of that."

"That's a pretty big thing to make up for, Dean. I think you should be buying _me_ breakfast now. Along with dinner." Cas grins, hoping Dean will say yes. He knows he is here to visit his sister, but he wasn't going to be spending the whole day with her anyway and maybe Dean wasn't going to be spending his entire time with Sam either. It was worth a shot.

"Deal! But I have one more question to ask." Dean says. He is just going to say it. He has to or he might never do it. He is putting everything on the line here and he hasn't done that in a hell of a long time, but he knows doing it for this reason is worth it whether it happens or not.

He got on that bus today, expecting a shitty day until he would have got to Sam. But he got on and sat beside a guy who he found out straight away is pretty amazing. It's crazy, _yes_, that he's already falling for this guy, but at the same time it's not. Over 6 billion people in the world, which all have their own story and this is Dean's. This isn't impossible, He doesn't know what it is but he had never believed something was so right than falling for Cas. Everything inside him is telling him to take the biggest chance and do this.

"What is it?" There is a look there that Cas swears he has seen before. And he knows that it is a good look. And that made a little shy smile appear on his face. If Dean isn't going to do it, than Cas sure is because he is not walking away from Dean tonight without doing this. No matter how long it took for some people to admit it and just go for it, Cas isn't wasting any more time on looking when it's standing right in front of him. You wait forever for something that might never appear and when it does; don't let it go because this might be your first and last chance.

"Do you think you will ever find that feeling you had in your dream?" Dean can't pull his eyes away from Cas'. He thinks if he does tha,t the moment would be gone. But how could the moment go when the feeling is still there? Cas takes a step towards Dean and there just inches apart. Dean is about to joke and say _personal space_. But no words come out. They are stuck in his throat while his heart is about to give up on him.

"Well, _Dean_…" Cas can't believe how confident he is about doing this. But there is something just pushing him and telling him not to back down. "I _think_ I finally have found it."

Cas grabs onto his own jacket on Dean and pulls him in that little bit closer, so their lips gently touch. It's the sweetest kiss in the world. Their lips just touch, with no movement and it lingers for a short few seconds. It's like they need to believe it can happen before it can actually happen. Neither of them opens their eyes but once they pull their lips away for a second they touch again. The touch looks like they're too fragile to kiss any harder, but they're not, they're just processing that it actually is happening.

Dean slowly brings one hand up onto Cas' waist and the other against the right side of Castiel's neck. Cas still holds his right hand onto the jacket.

"Cas…if…if I kiss you any longer…I won't be able to stop." They both open their eyes, looking into each other's and seeing something different in each other.

"Then don't. _Don't _stop." So Dean didn't stop. He collides his lips back with Cas' and moves himself and Cas back up against the brick wall. Cas can feel the coldness of the wall go through his jacket, but he doesn't care, he _really_ doesn't care. He lets go of the jacket and runs his hand up Dean's chest, then his shoulder until he finds his hand at the back of Dean's neck. He can feel the wetness of Dean's hair on his hand. He brings his other hand to the back of Dean's back and pulls him in as close as he can.

Dean can feel Cas' whole body against him and that feels amazing. It feels needed. This moment, _Cas_, it all felt like it was always needed and took till now to happen. Dean lets his tongue enter Cas' mouth that Cas gladly lets in. He feels Cas' tongue against his own. Cas moans into the kiss that makes Dean pull away from his lips, just enough to see Cas' full face. Cas lets his head fall back onto the wall. He looks breathless. Looking at Dean like he's the most amazing person Cas had ever met, his hair a complete mess, and his chest rising and falling as he tries to get his breath back.

"I found it, _too_." Dean's words earn a smile from Cas. Dean leans back in and kisses Cas again. Just then Dean's phone starts ringing. Dean moans against Cas' lips. He doesn't want to answer it. Dean takes the phone out of his pocket without looking and presses the decline button and puts it back in his back pocket. He brings one of his hands into Cas' hair, his fingers moving against the back of Cas' hair. The other hand on Cas' back.

The feeling of Dean against him, Dean's lips on his and Dean's fingers in his hair felt like the best feeling in the world right now. But Dean's phone rings again. Castiel knows Dean doesn't want to answer it and he doesn't want him to, but he should. Cas let's his hand fall down into Dean's pocket and takes his phone out. Cas pulls away from Dean's lips and holds the phone between them.

"_Casssss_…" Dean moans and looks disappointedly at Cas, who just chuckles.

"Answer it. It's important if they ring back again and _plus_…" Cas looks to the screen. "It's your brother." Cas hands the phone to him, Dean takes it and answers it.

"Yup?" _'Happy'_ Dean mouths to Castiel.

'_Yes' _Cas mouths back.

"_Dean_, where are you? I knew I shouldn't have left you." Dean's listening to his brother who sounds a little angry at him.

"I'm fine. _Believe me_, I'm fine." Dean leans his forehead against Cas'. Dean goes to kiss him, but Cas covers Dean mouth with his hand and mouths '_patients, Dean.'_

"Where the _hell_ are you? It's one in the morning." Dean and Cas haven't even checked to see what time it is, but it does shock them a little that it is so late.

"I…I just had to go for a walk after coming out of the pub. That beer didn't go down too well."

"Alright, fine. Just head back now will you? It's not the safest place to be at night on your own, Dean." The anger is gone out of Sam's voice and now it's just concerned. Dean wants to stay with Cas, but he knows Sam will just worry.

"I'm on my way back now." Dean hangs up after Sam lets him get off the phone. He puts his phone back into his back pocket and lets his head fall onto Cas' shoulder.

"It's your fault for making me answer it." Dean mumbles into Cas' shoulder.

"Yeah, that is totally my fault. How about I buy us breakfast in the morning to make up for it?" Dean lifts his head up and smiles.

"Okay."

* * *

Dean walked Cas to the outside of his sister's apartment. It is just a few minutes away from the building Sam stays in. If he won't be home in the next ten minutes he knows Sam will be ringing him.

"She's probably still at that party she nearly made me go with her tonight. Or else she would have been calling me. So I got off with her worrying." Cas and Dean stop a few steps away from the main door of the apartment's building main door. There are hardly any lights on in the apartments and no one is around. "I'd invite you up, but I don't let strangers into my sister's apartment. Especially ones who would poke a random guy on the bus while he's asleep." That makes them both laugh.

"Well, _I promise_ I won't poke anyone on the bus, ever." Dean pokes Cas' stomach that makes Cas slap Dean's hand away. Dean stops and puts his arm around Cas' back and pulls him in to kiss him. It isn't a long kiss, just one that lingers for a few seconds. "Now be gone. Tomorrow morning at 10, no matter what."

"You could just give me your numb…" Cas said.

"Ah, no. No numbers. We are doing this without any phone contact. Because if I have your number I'll just want to ring you all night and I need sleep."

"Fine. Are you sure you don't want my jacket? Yours is still soaked." Dean had made Cas put on his jacket before walking out of the shelter. It had stopped raining, but it was still freezing. Dean hadn't put on his own jacket, but he was glad he had worn his hoodie tonight.

"No, Leonardo DiCaprio. I'll be fine. But _thank you_."

"Titanic reference?"

"_Damn it_, it was, wasn't it? Such a sappy film." Dean tries to hide the fact that he had remembered any of that film, but of course Cas had to catch on. Cas says nothing and just smiles. "I better go. I'll see you in the morning." Dean gives one last kiss on Cas' lips before starting to walk away. He stops and turns back around to Cas who hadn't moved.

"Today was pretty awesome, wasn't it?" Dean realized fully what had happened today and that made this moment so unbelievable.

"It _still_ is." Cas gives a massive smile to Dean and turns around and starts to walk the last few steps to the door and goes in.

Dean's eyes follow Cas into the building until he can no longer been seen. He throws his coat over his shoulder and starts to walk back to Sam's apartment.

It is hard for him to believe that he meet Cas today. He might have never got on that bus and met him, but Dean tries to not think that way because he _did _meet Cas and Dean is on top of the world.

* * *

_Hope you enjoyed! Look at them to going fast ;) Next chapter up on Thursday :) THANKS FOR READING GUYS! Doesn't matter how many people read it, as long as one person is enjoying it, then I'm happy!_


	3. All We Want

Thank god Sam had got called into work this morning because Dean had no excuse as to where he would have to be going this morning. Sam was only going to be in till 1 and then he promised Dean they would do something, Dean's choice. Sam had just left two minutes ago and it is already ten. Once Sam had left Dean legged it out the door and to meet Cas.

He isn't nervous. He isn't nervous one bit to see Cas again. He is just excited.

He got up to the top of the hill and looks to the shelter in front of him. No one is around. He wonders if anyone ever came around here. Cas isn't here yet either. But he knows he is coming, of course he is. He stands and waits outside the shelter looking over the campus grounds.

Dean feels a hand suddenly holding his from behind him and being pulled behind the shed by Cas. At the back there's nothing expect trees surrounding everything at the sides and behind them. Cas puts his hands on Dean's chest and gently pushes him back against the wall of the shelter. Dean puts his arms around Cas' waist and pulls him in closer.

"Good Morning, stranger." Dean grins as he lets his head fall back against the wall and tilts his head to the side. He wants to really look at Cas this morning. The sun is shining and is hitting them both. Cas is even more beautiful than last night. Cas lets his arms fall over Dean's shoulders.

"It really is. Ready for breakfast?"

"Sure. Right after this." Dean lifts his head up and captures Cas' lips with his own. It's a few lingering kisses and a quick peek before Cas falls out of Dean's arms, wraps his fingers through Dean's, and pulls him up from against the wall.

"You like holding hands?" Dean saidas they walk side by side. He looks to his left side to see Cas looking back at him with his smile still on his face.

"I like holding _your _hand."

* * *

"_This is not_ breakfast." Dean looks down to the open pizza box on the table. Cas and him had gone down to one of the local restaurants, but it was full, so Cas dragged Dean into a pizza place and got it to go seeing as that place was full too. College students were just everywhere and they didn't really feel like being surrounded by them. So they went back to Sam's apartment seeing as he wouldn't be home for another while. Now they sat at the table eating pizza and Dean is on Sam's laptop on Youtube making Cas listen to his kind of awesome music. "But _this_ is what breakfast _should_ be." Cas looked to Dean who has his legs against his chest. Cas smiled at how adorable he looked like that.

"I actually feel like we are college students." Cas chuckles. "A college student who can't eat anymore pizza." Cas lets his head fall against the back of the chair. He has only had two slices of pizza and Dean has already got through four.

"_Seriously_, dude? You're like Sam. He never eats much. There are two slices left and they are yours."

"You eat them." Cas moans. "Besides I have to go to Dinner with my sister later and if I eat more I won't be able to eat anything then." Cas lifts his head back up and looks to Dean. "I really am sorry. I know I said we would meet up later."

"_Hey_, it's alright. I should spend a bit more time with Sam today as well. He knows I wasn't at the pub last night. He practically smelled me this morning and said _you are lying about something_. I can't keep anything from him anymore without him knowing in an instant. So I'll be getting a million questions tonight from him." Dean shuts the lid of the laptop, pushes it up the table and closes the lid on the pizza box as well.

"I got lucky. My sister was already back from the party, but she was asleep and didn't seehear me come in." Cas pauses for a second and Dean can tell he is thinking about something. When he meets Dean's eyes again, Cas looks a little shy. "Dean…I ummm…I have never exactly ever had a boyfriend or even a girlfriend before." It has never been a big deal to Cas that he hadn't dated anyone and he knew that if someone cared for him they wouldn't mind either, but he wanted to say it. Just to let the words out.

"_So_ I won't have any ex's go crazy on me then for having you." Dean's smile relaxes Cas again. "Well I've had girlfriends, but boyfriends, can't say I have." Dean gets up from his chair and walks over the few steps to Cas. Dean pulls the chair beside Cas out and turns it sideways to face Cas. Dean sits down and places his hands on Cas' knees and looks to him. "It's _crazy_. It is _really_ fucking crazy that I met you yesterday on a bus, that we bonded over being unsociable and burgers, that later that night we talked for hours and we kissed again and _again_. I am already falling for you so fast even without knowing hardly anything about you. _Screw_ what the world thinks how long it should take to fall for someone. Just because it has never happened to some of the people they think it can't happen at all. But apparently it does. And it's happening _right now_."

"If you had poked me on the bus this could have went in a totally different direction." They both chuckled. Cas slips his hands over Dean's. "I think I'm really going to like being with you." Now that is a line Dean is going to remember forever. He's pretty sure he's going to like being with Cas, too. Dean gets up from his seat, still holding onto one of Cas' hands and pulling Cas up along with him.

Sam would actually kill Dean for having someone in his room. He didn't even want Dean in his room, but Sam wouldn't find out about this. Cas would be gone before Sam got home from work and it's not like they were doing anything in Sam's room except for making out and lying on his bed.

"If I was to do anything else other than fixing vehicles I would…" _Still be a hunter. _"I don't know. Why do you have to ask hard questions?" Dean is lying crossways and has his head lying against Cas' chest and his legs hanging over the edge of the bed while Cas is lying straight and has his head lying on the pillows and titled to the side a little to look at Dean's face. He has one arm over Dean's stomach and his other with his fingers playing with Dean's hair every so often.

"Why are you handsome?"

"Why are you unsociable?" Dean jokes.

"Why do you only listen to rock music?"

"Why do you read books?"

"Why do you _not _read books?"

"Why are we doing this?" They keep a straight face the whole time until Dean's last question that makes them laugh. They have been lying down on the bed for the past hour asking each other questions about their lives and making out every so often.

"Seriously though, you don't read books, Dean. What is up with that?"

"There are too many words. The only time I ever read was when Sammy was little. And even then I only did it for him. I would only read if I have a reason to."

"There are always reasons to read. Reading is _fun_." Cas says happily. Dean turns his head to the side to look at Cas.

"Said the nerdy guy who's never had a girlfriend _or_ boyfriend." Cas pretends to be offended by that, but instead just sticks out his tongue at Dean. "Well, _now _you have a boyfriend, don't you? I think he's pretty awesome."

"Do you really?" Dean nods his head slowly and starts to move his body around and lies his body over Cas'. He puts his arms over Cas' head and leans his forehead on Cas'. Cas lets his hands wander down Dean's back and stop at his lower back. "I guess he is." Cas leans up and kisses him, pulling Dean's head down with him as Cas' head hits the pillow again. They are straight in the kiss, there is nothing slow about it. Tongues glide against each other, teeth hit against each other's the odd time and it gets deeper every second.

Dean pulls his lips away from Cas' and kisses down his neck. Cas keeps his eyes closed and tilts his head a little to the left, exposing his neck a little more. Dean stops behind Cas' ear and sucks at that little part for a few seconds. Cas tries to hold back his moans, but it's pretty hard when Dean is doing that to his neck. Dean feels Cas already half hard against him and that's making Dean hard too. Actually, the moans from Cas is enough to do that. Cas moves his head back to Dean and pulls him back to kiss him. It's needier this time. Cas moves his hands under Dean's shirt and moves them slowly up Dean's back. The touch makes Dean have goosebumps. Dean's pulls out of the goosebumps thought when Cas pulls Dean further down against him. They both gasp against each other's lips. They open their eyes and there is so much want in them and just by that look Dean knows Cas wants more.

Dean let's one of his hand run against Cas' body and over his crotch. Cas' eyes close again and moves his body up a little into Dean's touch. Dean's watching Cas fall apart in front of him and he looks freaking beautiful. Dean undoes the belt and then the zip.

"Dea…Dean. Take yours off to. I need to feel you agains…against me more." Dean isn't going to say no there. He takes off Cas' trousers first and then his own.

"Dude, there is no way I am getting cum on my brother's bed, if you know what I mean." Cas knew, alright, and he wasn't stopping Dean. Dean kisses Cas again. Then he moves back on the bed a little and lowers his head, his mouth cupping Cas' length over his underwear, teasing him. That earns him a little moan from Cas. He knows Cas is holding those moans back, so he's making it his mission to moan louder. Dean puts both hands at the top of Cas' underwear and pulls them off him and throws them on the floor. He looks back and Cas is already leaking cum. Dean smirks and kisses down the inside of Cas' thigh. He slowly kisses down and back up again. Then he kisses up the side of Cas' throbbing cock. And now Cas is starting to moan again, louder this time.

Dean licks the cum off the top and then stops to take off his own underwear, throwing them on top of Cas' underwear. Dean sits on his knees over either side of Cas' legs. Cas pushes himself up on his elbows and looks to Dean who's taking of his shirt. He is about to come then and there from the sign of Dean. Cas sees that Dean wants Cas to take of his own shirt, so he quickly does and throws it onto the floor with everything else and leans back on his elbows.

Dean reaches his hand out to Cas' cock and rubs his thumb over the top, spreading the rest of the cum onto his own hand. Cas throws his head back at the touch. His mouth wide open feeling like he can't close it. Dean runs his hand down Cas' length slowly and back up, repeating that a few times.

"Ahhh…Dean…mmm." Cas is moving with the rhythm of Dean's hand. Dean lets go and Cas manages to open his eyes again and lift his head back up to look at Dean. Dean has his hand on his own length now moving it up and down. Dean doesn't have his own head thrown back though; he's looking Cas straight in the eye as he moves his body in sync with his hand. Cas can't take it and pushes himself up, putting one of his hands on Dean's back and pulling him back down onto the bed. Dean lets his head fall against Cas' shoulder when Cas puts his hand in-between their bodies and starts pumping Dean's length.

"_Caaaas_…faster." Dean moans into Cas' ear as he pushes down into Cas' hand. So Cas moves faster, twisting his wrist every few seconds. Dean finds the strength to move his hand in-between them to and grab onto Cas' cock and start stroking him too. It's not long till either of them can't do it anymore and pull their hands away and rub their cocks against each other.

"I can't…I'm about to, Dean." Dean rests his forehead against Cas' and places a kiss on his lips.

"Come. I'll just…m-make you c-come again." They both pretty much forget about the _no cum on Sam's bed _thing. They just got too lost in the moment. A few more strokes against each other and Cas comes, along with Dean a few seconds after. Dean then reaches back down straight after and grabs Cas' cock again. The come gets all over Dean's hand and once again Cas is getting hard.

"You…you really…weren't kidding that you would...make me come...again." Cas said out of breathe. Dean shakes his head and places a kiss on Cas' lips and uses his clean hand to push the hair away from Cas' forehead. Cas brings his hand up and places it on the back of Dean's neck and kisses him for longer than Dean. Cas is nearly fully hard again when he flips them over so Dean is the one underneath Cas.

"I swear…if you tease me…" Dean is shut up by Cas' lips on his again. "This is never…" Another kiss. "Happening again." Dean knows that is one of the biggest lies he has ever told.

"_Really_? You don't want to feel this…" Cas runs his hand down Deans stomach and then up and down his length while Dean is trying not to moan. "Again." Cas is the one smirking now. He starts kissing down Dean's chest which is rising up and down fast. He can feel Cas licking around his torso and then further down until Cas wastes no time and holds Dean in his hand and lowers his mouth down around Dean's length. It's so good. The warmth, the feeling of Cas' tongue and Cas holding onto him. Cas pulls his mouth away for a second and licks up the side, while gliding his fingers against him. Then Cas lets go and his mouth is back around Dean's now hard cock. Cas puts his hands on either side of Dean's waist. Dean didn't expect it, but Cas is moving Dean's body up so that he can suck him deeper and _Christ_, Dean had never done this before with a guy but he's pretty sure a lot of people don't do that for the fear of choking. And he can't help but push in more and Cas doesn't stop him, he just takes it. He can hear Cas moaning as he does it. Dean grabs a fistful of the blanket that's over the bed to stop him from putting his hands on Cas' head. He throws his head back when Cas uses a little bit of teeth. It wasn't sore, it just felt good. He just wanted to come right there and he is about to. But Cas pulls away and Dean doesn't see until he feels it. Cas licks Dean's entrance.

"Ah fuck…Caaas…Caaas, _yes_." So Cas continues. This time licks even deeper for a few seconds. Then he sucks on two of his fingers and moves back up against Dean's body. He lowers his right hand in-between Dean's legs and waits till Dean opens his eyes and looks at him. And when he does and he knows what Cas is about to do.

"You…Cas, I will kill you. This feels too good. You…_you_ feel too good." Cas leans down and kisses Dean while inserting one of his fingers into Dean. Dean moans into the kiss, but he doesn't pull away. He keeps kissing Cas while Cas moves his finger in and out and then inserts another one. He starts to speed up pushing it in and out and then he finds Dean's spot and pushes hard against it.

"Harder, _Cas_. Har…_harder_." Dean pushes himself down onto Cas' fingers and then he's coming. Screaming Cas' name and Cas continues to push in and out of Dean through his orgasm. Dean's holding onto Cas' sides, still pushing down onto Cas. It feels like the longest orgasm he has ever had.

"_Caaaaaas_!" He screams one more time and then he stops moving. He just stays for a few seconds. Cas is running his hand up Dean's chest when Dean finds the strength in himself he pushes Cas onto the bed.

"You are about to feel…how I just felt." Dean quickly get's up from the bed, his legs a little unsteady and goes over to his bag. He takes out a bottle of lube and returns back onto the bed and pours some on too his fingers.

"Bring it on." Cas chuckles. He's pretty proud of how he made Dean feel. Dean's alright down on Cas and having his mouth around Cas' cock. Cas spreads his legs out a little further for Dean. Cas expects him to push his fingers in, but instead Dean takes his mouth away and replaces it with his hand covered in lube and his tongue licking against Cas' enter and then up Cas' tight, back down, and licking his entrance again.

"Dean…mmm…Dean." Cas needs more and he only wants it if Dean wants to. "Hey…Dean, Baby, come here." Dean stops and moves his way up to Cas. He smiles at Cas and pushes his hair back again and leaves his hand there. Dean knows before he asks, but he so badly wants to hear those words. Cas brings his hands up to either side of Dean's face and looks him straight in the eyes with a smile.

"Make love to me. I don't want to wait. You can…" Cas swallows and laughs a little. "Call me crazy, but you…your…I don't know how…but you're already _it_ for me." Dean's face lights up even more.

"_I love you_." They both say at the same time. They stop in silence for a few seconds, stunned and not stunned at the same time because no matter how fast it happened, and it happened pretty god damn quick, it isn't unbelievable that all of this happened in a day. It isn't even twenty four hours since they met. It is crazy. But it's _their_ crazy.

"Screw what the world thinks of love, right?" Cas says breathless. he doesn't know how any of this is happening right now. But he does know he's in love with Dean. Dean hasn't even told him his last name yet, but he's totally in love with him. It feels like he has always been.

"Yeah, screw them, Cas." Dean whispers and nods his head slowly. He's looking at Cas and he knows. He knew from the second he saw Cas' face he was going to fall for him so fast.

Dean captures Cas' lips in his and it feels like it's passing through how much they love each other and they're both getting that. Dean rests his forehead against Cas'.

"I just want you to make love to me now, Dean. Nothing else…just that. I just need to feel you as close as we can get. _All_ of you." Cas whispers between them.

"_Okay_." Dean understands it all. Nothing between them, just all of them.

Dean lowers his hand down and onto one of Cas' legs. Cas bends his legs up and spreads them. Dean moves his knees under Cas'. Dean spreads lube over his cock. He then holds onto Cas' sides and lines up his cock with Cas' entrance. He looks at Cas to make sure he's ready and he is. Dean slowly pushes in,he feels like throwing his head back, but he looks to Cas who is looking back at Dean with so much pleasure on his face. Dean was complete hard again before pushing into Dean and that had never happened to him so quickly before. It was because it's Cas. Cas' chest is rising fast and he just looks beautiful.

Dean pushes in fully and then puts his hands on either side of Cas' thighs and wraps his legs around Dean's back. Dean puts his hands onto Cas' stomach and pushes them up Cas' chest and then around the back of Cas' neck. Dean's chest is against Cas' and he swears he can feel Cas' heart racing. Cas moves his hands down Dean's back slowly. Dean kisses Cas as he moves his cock out of Cas leaving the tip in and pushing back in again. Faster this time. He can feel that Cas is a little tight with not being stretched, but this felt more amazing.

Cas moans into the kiss of having Dean inside him. The warmness he feels inside him and the pleasure is amazing. He needs to keep kissing Dean because if he doesn't he's going to moan really loudly. Dean pulls out and in a few more times, getting faster each time. Cas can handle that speed and hardness for those few seconds, but now he finds his hands on Dean's ass cheeks and pushes him in harder. He starts to push himself down onto Dean's cock too. It's the need of the feeling Dean inside him. And Dean knows because he starts to go faster. And then he's going so fast that Cas has a tight grip on Dean and the bed is squeaking with every thrush. Cas tries his best not to throw his head back because he wants to see Dean every second of this. But Dean's finding it hard to keep his head up. He has his head against Cas' shoulders and his arms above Cas' head.

"Dean…awwww…_baby_, baby deeper." And Cas feels him go deeper. Deeper and he hits Cas' spot. With that hit, Cas pushes himself so deep down on Dean that they're both screaming each other's name and they're close. Dean lifts his head up and rests his forehead on Cas'.

"Hand's Cas…give me…your hands, babe." Cas moves his hands above him and Dean grabs onto them. Cas' hands under his and Dean intertwines their fingers together. Dean's lips are against Cas check and so he places a sweet kiss there.

Cas and Dean can feel that with a few more pushes they will both come. It's fast and it's hard and their eyes are looking into each other's, when they coming. Cas can feel Dean coming inside him making him even warmer as the cum spreads into him and seconds later Cas is coming too. Dean collapses on top of Cas.

They stay like that until they can get a bit of breath back into them. Dean moans into Cas' ear, not wanting to move and still heavily feeling those two orgasms. It was like he was still having them. His hands are still in Cas' until Cas pulls one of his hands away and puts it on the back of Dean's hair and lets his fingers play with Dean's hair. Dean moans against the touch.

"I can't move." Dean mumbles against Cas' neck. Cas laughs and turns his head to the side to look at Dean's face. His eyes are closed and he looks peaceful and he moves his free hand to the back of Cas' head.

"_Mmmm_…if I paid you for sex…there would be not enough…money in the world…to repay you for what you just…made me feel." Dean opens his eyes and smiles at Cas.

"Good thing I am your boyfriend then isn't it?" Dean nods his head.

"And I love you." Dean whispers.

"And I love you, Dean. I _really_ love you."

* * *

_Hope you enjoyed! There is two more parts. Next one will be up on Sunday :)_


	4. Remember Us

Cas stayed.

Dean wanted Cas to meet Sam when Sam got home. He was going to tell Sam it all first, but why wait. He wanted Cas there when Dean told Sam about Cas and himself. So Cas agreed.

Cas is sat on the kitchen counter watching as Dean is going around the kitchen making Sam a sandwich. He promised Sam he would. He always did when he visited Sam or when Sam is at home. He always had to make Bobby one too nearly every day, but he didn't mind. He throws on the last bits, puts the top piece of bread over it and it's done.

"Da, da. Done." Dean announces. He picks up the plate and puts it in the fridge.

"I better get one of them sandwiches sometime." Dean walks over to Cas and leans his hands on the either side of Cas' body on the counter. Cas wraps his legs around Dean's legs and his arms around his back. Dean throws his arms over Cas' shoulders.

"Remember you asked what else I would like to do other than fixing vehicles?" Dean asks and Cas nods. "I'd probably have a little restaurant. I love food, like _more_ than you should and I actually like making it instead of buying food that's already done, so I don't know, maybe that."

"Maybe that is perfect." They kiss once and then again. "Dean, kiss me longer this time or you don't see me tonight." Dean laughs and does so. He puts his arms around Cas' waist and lifts him down from the counter, still kissing him. They heard the front door open and Dean pulls away slowly.

"Time to meet the brother. Stay here." Dean whispers. He peaks Cas on the lips and goes out into the hallway to meet Sam.

"Hey, Sammy." Sam throws the keys on the table and looks to his brother.

"Why are you so freakishly happy? I haven't seen you so happy in like ever. And I only just walked in the door and coped that on quickly." Dean is glowing and can't wipe the smile of his face.

"Okay, well…last night I lied, but you knew that anyway after deciding to smell me."

"I knew it!" Sam looks so happy to be right.

"Well, good for you, but dude, I don't really know how to explain it, like honestly, I don't and I'll explain more to you later. But last night I was with someone…a guy. Like I said I will explain it all tomorrow. He's here and I want you to meet him." Sam just smiles and nods his head.

"Okay." Dean's glad there's no questions for now and he and Sam go into the kitchen. Cas comes out from behind the wall. Dean stands beside him. They're both across from Sam now who's looking at them, like he knows this guy. He must have seen him before around the college.

"Sam, this is Casey. But Casey just feels too long, so Cas. Cas this is Sam."

_Sam, Sam calm down. That's him._

The words Sam can remember in the back of his head are trying to push through and for a second he nearly lets them, but pushes them aside and holds out his hand for Cas to shake and he does.

"It's nice to meet you, Sam. Dean likes to talk about his little brother a good bit." Well, he couldn't say a lot seeing as it is less than twenty four hours since they met. Cas takes a proper look at Sam and he swears he has seen someone before who looked just like him. He guesses it was probably one of his sister's ex-boyfriends that looked like him. They were always really tall, build up and had long hair, but not _that_ long.

"It's nice to meet you, Cas." The name feels weird before he said it _and_ saying it. "I'd say the same, but Dean likes to tell me nothing sometimes." Dean and Cas look to each other and grin. _There's a reason for that, Sam, _Dean thinks. "But I'm guessing you were the reason my brother came back late last night in an extremely happy mood."

"Wait, you were asleep." Dean says confused. Sam had let Dean take his bed and he took the couch, but he had checked on Sam first and then got a glass of water before heading to bed.

"He's usually asleep or being a pain in the ass at that time." Dean punches Sam in the stomach. "Duddddde,"

"My fist slipped, sorry." Dean says and Cas chuckles at them both as Sam hits Dean back in the stomach. "Son of a bitch, Dean." Dean puts his hand over his stomach and starts talking again.

"Okay, you are not getting that sandwich now." Dean says still in a little pain. "Sammy, get out that door and go to your room, I need to talk to you for a second." Sam makes a bitch face at Dean and makes his way out the door. Before following Sam, Dean turns back to Cas.

"Are you alright?" Cas asks. Dean nods his head and takes his hand away from his stomach.

"Yup. I've gotten a lot worse from him. Okay, I need to tell Sammy just a little bit more because he may freak out when I tell him when I meet you. So, I don't want you to see that. We won't be long and you can have the sandwich instead of him." Dean puts his hand on Cas' chest and pushes him back against the counter.

"I'll never get tired of saying this, but…I love you." Cas brings his hand up under Dean's chin and holds his chin between his fingers.

"And I love you." Cas pulls Dean's lips against him. "And I'll kiss you later." Cas turns Dean's body around to walk ahead and go down the hallway. Dean sighs and takes a few steps, looking back at Cas for a second. "I hate you." Dean jokes.

"Really? Well, you loved me a second ago. Make up your mind, handsome." Dean says nothing and just smiles at Cas and continues walking down the hall. He gets to Sam's room and sees Sam standing in the middle of the room mouthing '_you love him!' _That is probably the most shocked Sam has ever been with something Dean has done. Dean shuts the door and turns back to Sam."Okay, I know. But Sammy I don't freaking know for sure. One second I am sitting on a bus joking with him and the next I'm falling so fast for him that now I'm in love with him. It's the craziest thing I have ever done. And that's saying something because I have done a lot of crazy stuff. Our lives were nothing, _but_ crazy." Dean keeps his voice low so Cas can't hear them, but he can't say Sam will do the same.

"On a bus? Dean, _no way_. Are you trying to say you met him coming to visit me. As in _yesterday_? As in _twenty four hours ago_?!" Sam doesn't speak loudly, but it feels loud to Dean. Sam puts his both hands behind his head and let's them rest there. He can't believe this.

"Yes, and I know, _okay_, I know you won't understand this, and that's fine but please don't be a dick about it. You're not me, or him! You can't understand." Dean doesn't want to be told this is stupid or it's a joke. It's anything but that and maybe him and Cas are the only ones out of over six billion people in the world who will ever understand it. He can handle everyone else being ignorant about it, but not Sammy. Just not him of all people.

"Dean, I am not going to be a dick about this. Of course I am not. After everything we have gone through I couldn't be happier for you, but you have to understand that it is a bit crazy for someone on the outside. How? How did you fall for him so fast?" Sam wants to understand how this happened. Because for as long as he has known his brother he never thought he would fall in love until he was old.

"Like I said, it's crazy. It's like from the second I really saw him and we started talking it was all those past relationships never meant a thing, it made me see why they never worked and this is what someone should feel for someone and it's like I've known him before. Is that what it's supposed to feel like? That you have known the person before, in another life or something?" Dean honestly didn't know and his brother can usually make sense of a lot of things so maybe he can make sense of this. "You..you never did the whole…_wait-you're-gay_? Thing."

"Yeah, well, we did have a talk years ago about it's the person you're falling for, not the gender." Dean's confused. They never had that talk.

"_Dude_, we never did. You really think we would talk about that. We hardly ever did and hardly still do, expect for now."

"No, we did. I remember we did, I just can't remember why. Dean, does the name Cas not seem familiar to you? It's like, I don't know, it's like we knew someone called that. When I saw him at first for a second I thought I knew him and then when you said Cas it was like a memory came into my head, expect it was just words."

"We have never known anyone called Cas. I've never even heard that name before and plus it's just short for Casey.

"Alright then. I'm guessing he knows someone here seeing as he's here."

"Yeah his sister goes to college here. She just started this year."

* * *

Cas brings the sandwich to the table and puts it down. He moves one of the chairs to sit in the other and knocks a bag, that was on the chair, over that falls to the ground. He takes a seat and picks up the bag, throwing it back on the chair. He cops on that it's Dean. The zip is fully open and there are sweets in it. He had seen Dean taking stuff out from it this morning. He looks back down to the ground to pick up the things that had fallen out throwing the sweets and a t-shirt back in .There's a book on the ground that's open at the back.

"And he told me he didn't read." Cas chuckles. When he picks it up and looks at it closer he sees it's someone's hand written. He doesn't mean to but he reads a few words on top of the last page.

**_15_****_th_****_ October 2008_**

_Angels. They actually exist, and how do I know? Because one pulled me out from hell. But I can't remember what Angel it was. I'm going find out. Freaking Angels._

**_20_****_th_****_ August 2011_**

_I looked for years and never found out. After years of meeting other angels and asking over and over again they never told me. It's like they couldn't tell me and they never will._

**_14_****_th_****_ April 2012_**

_We closed the gates of Hell. Heaven, well, let's hope they don't fuck up on us and stay in order up there. Now it's just monsters on earth left, right? God damn better be._

**_21_****_st_****_ September 2014_**

_So long has gone by and there has been nothing. Noting about Heaven and Hell. And no sign of any monsters on earth. Maybe it's over, or maybe it's not. But for now it is. Sammy and Bobby said we have to leave it behind and move forward with our lives. And I agree. There's one thing I never told Sammy and I doubt I ever will. That angel, I hope every day that he is going to appear and that's what gets me up in the morning. And Sammy and Bobby are the ones to keep me going through the day. Life's okay, but I miss being in the car with Sam every day and ringing up Bobby for help. Something new used to happened every single day. And now every day is like a waiting game. A waiting game for something to happen. A waiting game for that Angel to appear so I can understand this feeling inside that feels like it's never going away._

"_Dean Winchester_." Cas whispers. "Sam and Dean Winchester." It's like a wave crashing into him, drowning him and remembering memories of everything that was every important in case he doesn't survive this. And right now he feels like he's drowning in memories because they all come rushing back. A past memory hitting him every few seconds. And everything he couldn't remember about being an Angel is coming back.

_Cas, where are you going? Please, please don't leave me!_

_This is it, Dean. I…I can't stay here. I shouldn't be in your life. I'm sorry._

_No, no don't you dare! We are in this together. You, Sammy and I. We need each other._

_Dean, this…it should have never happened. You should have never met me. You need to forget about me._

_"__No! Cas, how the hell could I ever forget about you. I love you, god damn it. Don't you dare think you can just walk into my life, let me fall in love with you and walk back out? Don't you dare break my heart, Castiel. Don't you dare!_

Tears are streaming down Castiel's face and he feels like he can't breathe. He needs to leave, this can't be happening. Everything happened so _this_ couldn't ever happen. Cas pushes himself up against the table and walks as fast as he can, holding himself up and trying not to fall. He gets to the door, opening it as quietly as he can and going. Once the door is closed he runs from it all.

Dean and Sam come out of Sam's room and walk into the kitchen. Dean looks around him to see where Cas is. He looks over to the table where the sandwich is and the…_no_, not his Dad's journal.

"Dean, where's Cas?" Sam asks not seeing the journal open on the table. Dean doesn't say anything and walks over to the table, picking up the journal, seeing what page it is open at. He was going to tell Cas everything when it felt right. And now Cas found out for himself and Dean didn't know how to feel. Sam's looking over at his brother who is looking towards the journal.

"Dean, I thought you didn't bring it around with you anymore. I haven't seen it in years." Sam's confused as to why Dean still carries it around; they know that journal of so well.

"I…I don't feel right without it. Sammy, he…he read about the Angels." Dean looks up to Sam with terror all over his face. Sam returns confusion on his face, there is nothing written about Angels in the journal. Dean drops the book and runs past Sam and out the door to find Cas. If he doesn't explain, he's going to lose Cas, maybe he already has.

Sam lifts up the book and reads a line of the page Dean has open.

_There's one thing I never told Sammy and I doubt I ever will. That angel, I hope every day that he is going to appear and that's what gets me up in the morning._

* * *

_RUN AFTER HIM DEAN! Okay, hope you guy's enjoyed that! Did you expect it? I did, but then I wrote it so be weird if I didn't haha :) Let me know what you thought and next chapter up Tuesday! :) Oh yes and it's two more chapters left, not one! And please tell me you guy's have seen The Normal Heart. I keep watching it since it came out. To me, it's the most powerful, beautiful film I have ever seen and I hope so many people get too see it! :)_

**_'To win a fight, you have to start one.' Larry Kramer_**


	5. Find me, Again

Dean gets outside and is still running. He needs to find Cas and he can't have gone far. Dean's about to go in the Direction of Cas' sister's apartment until he sees someone walking towards the back field behind the school, where as Sam told him you never see anyone going there only if the students decide to hold an event there. He watches as the person goes through the gate and Dean sees the face for a second and swears its Cas so he runs after him.

Cas doesn't know where he's going. But he can't be on campus and he can't go back to his sister's because he didn't need any questions, he just needed to be left alone because everything is falling apart and he doesn't know what to do.

No one's around and he's grateful for that. He walks towards what looks like an banded bike shed that has a path leading up to it that's getting overgrown by grass. Up ahead is an old building that's falling apart that his sister had told him used to be another part of the college years ago before there was a fire in it. They had never rebuild it and just made a new part much closer to campus. Cas thinks about hiding in there and he knows no one will find him in there but he's legs fall from under him and he falls beside the bike shed. He doesn't bother to try get up. His hand is flat against the grass and his other hand around his stomach. He just feels pain everywhere. What has he done? This was his nightmare. He remembers when he decided to make it all stop.

_Castiel, if you do it so do I. I know it hurts, but you made them forget they can never remember unless you want them to, you don't have to do this too. You have caused yourself enough pain._

_Castiel just looked at his sister, Anna, shook his head and then he did it. Taking away his grace and fell._

_She screamed, trying to stop him, but she couldn't. And she kept to her word, she did it too because she knew Castiel couldn't do this on his own. He would die. So she fell with him and they ran. And they got away with it; they were never found, never found because of the disgrace they would have put on Heaven._

"Cas!" Cas is pulled out of his thoughts from the shout of his name and the running of feet getting closer. He doesn't even look, he has no strength left in him, right now he felt worse than falling and he had thought that it could never be possible. But it could and it's happening right now. The feeling is trying to kill him. He feels like he's dying. He did _everything_, he gave up _everything_ to stop this ever happening.

"Cas, Cas!" A few running steps later and Dean is kneeling down beside Cas and lifting his head up in his hands. Dean had never seen someone so broken as he's seeing Cas right now. Did he really make Cas feel this way. "I'm sorry. I'm _so sorry_. I should have told you. Cas?" Dean's breaking down too. Cas isn't looking at him, he's looking at the ground and looks like he's in another world. "Cas, _please_!" Dean chokes out. Cas can hear him, he can feel Dean, but he just can't look towards him because if he does he's afraid it will kill him. "I promise, I…I promise I don't…I don't d-do that anymore. Please don't make…just don't m-make me lose you. I-I _can't_ lose you."

_"__You won't remember me, Dean. Every moment in our lives together. You, Sam and I, we never meet. All you will remember is an Angel pulled you from Hell, but you won't remember it was me."_

_"__No, stop, stop, STOP! I'm not losing you, Cas. I love you. I-"_

_"__You won't remember an Angel called, Castiel. He never existed and never will. You won't remember you love me and you won't remember that…I love you."_

He did it all for Dean. The moment Cas pulled Dean from Hell everything bad started to happen and no matter how much they tried to tell each other it will be okay, it never was. And Cas knew it would never get better, so he made Dean, Sam and Bobby forget there was ever an Angel called Castiel and made them forget in every memory that Cas was in that he wasn't there at all. And then he took his own grace away, taking away any chance of Dean ever finding him and this was the only way he would know for sure. But he never knew he would forget everything about being an Angel but it made him happy that he would because memories of Dean, Sam and Bobby just broke his heart to know he would never see them again. So with every day that he forgot about them, the less it hurt and like they were never in his life at all. That he never loved Dean Winchester.

"I _remember_ you." Cas whispers mostly to himself. Dean doesn't understand what Cas is meaning. He didn't have a clue what was happening. All he knew was that Cas ran because of what he read in the journal.

"Cas, let…let me bring you back to, Sam's. I…you'll get sick out here." The grass is soaked from the night before and Cas doesn't have a jacket on. He is shaking and Dean thinks it's from the cold. Cas brings himself to look at Dean.

"I…I did everything…_everything_ to stop you from finding me." Cas has stopped crying and just felt numb, even with Dean's hands on his face, he feels numb.

"I don't…what do you mean?" Dean is getting more confused and upset every second. He needs Cas to make him understand what is going on in his head.

"Dean, Dean Winchester. Sam and Dean Winchester. I'm…I'm Castiel." Dean had never told Cas his last name yet. And what? He thought his name is Casey. Dean doesn't know what to say, so he puts his arms around Cas' waist and pulls him up from the ground. Cas feels dead in his arms. He uses what strength he has in himself to keep himself standing and looks at Dean who has his arms on Cas' waist, holding him in case he falls.

"Cas, I…I don't understand." Cas wishes he didn't know like Dean didn't. "Make me understand." And Cas doesn't know why he does it, but he does. He can't stop himself. He lays a hand over Dean's forehead and lets Dean remember everything. The one thing Cas still had from being an Angel is letting people remember past memories with him. He doesn't know how he could still do that because he is not an Angel anymore. He didn't know that that was something he was still able to do, until now. And if he does this now, Dean will never be able to forget him again.

Just like what happened with Cas, every memory of them rushes back into Dean's mind. Every memory pushes its way through until Dean remembers each and every one.

When Dean opens his eyes and Cas drops his hand from Dean's forehead, Dean is looking at him in a whole different way. Not the way he did when Cas was an Angel, not the way he did when he fell in love with him in hours, like everything made sense. How he fell so fast for someone, why he felt like he knew Cas before yesterday, and how from the second he meet Cas years ago everything changed.

"_Cas," _Dean whispers in a different way he had said his name before. He knew everything, now. And he understands why Cas is like this. He's suddenly mad, broken; falling apart from what Cas did to him. He pushes Cas away and backs away from him. Cas made him forget him, made him forget the happiest times in his life and he couldn't even remember them. How could he? Dean had told him they could do this. That he loved him too much to let Cas go and he just made him forget. He didn't listen to Dean. "You broke me and I…you couldn't even let me remember!" Dean shouted at him. At that moment everything is crashing down around him. "I loved you and…you didn't listen!"

"Dean," Cas moves himself towards Dean and reaches out his arm to try hold on to Dean. Dean lifts his arm up and his fist connects to the side of Cas' face with a hard hit. It knocks Cas to the ground. "_Don't_ touch me. You have _no_ right to." Dean is holding back all the tears inside him because he is trying so hard not to fully break right now. "You _broke_ my heart, you took away my memories with you and then you walk back in like nothing ever happened."

"I didn't know!" Cas doesn't get up from the ground he just looks up to Dean who is staring down at him. "I…I fell after I made you forget, so…so you would never find me. And…every day I-I forgot a bit more about my memories as an Angel. I…all I reme-remembered is I was an Angel. I didn't ev-even remember _you._ Seeing those words written they…they made-made every memory come back. Dean, I didn't know…who you were. I…I didn't know I loved you years ago, I swe-swear I didn't. I'm so…so s-sorry." Blood ran from Cas' mouth but he didn't wipe it away. The tears falling from his eyes ran down his face and connected with the blood, making it drip onto his clothes.

Dean ran his hands through his own hair trying to understand Cas doing what he done.

"We…we were _happy_." Dean said angrily.

"No, we…we were happy wh-when everything a-around us was fall-falling apart. Us being together made…everything else bad. We were…were never meant to be together." It hurt Cas so much to say it, but to him at the time it was true and it's why he did everything he did. So he could protect Dean.

"Never meant to _be_ together? Cas, that feeling of me loving you never went away. We were _meant_ to be together. Look at me and tell me that the night I nearly died all those years ago, when you told me you loved me and couldn't let me go, tell me that that wasn't true. I-I was dying in you-your arms and your healing powers were cut off and I…I was seconds from dying until Anna healed me. Tell me _still_ that we-we weren't meant to be together?" That day Dean really was seconds from dying. An Angel had driven the Angel blade through Dean's chest and Cas couldn't heal him and if Anna hadn't had come, Dean would have been dead. And now Dean remembers it wasn't long after that until Cas made him forget everything.

"I would rather make you lose me, than you dying. At le-least you were still alive. I just wasn't in your li-life anymore."

"Don't you get it, Cas? Even though I didn't remember you, I was still _dying_ fro-from this feeling inside of me for you. You were kill-killing me by making me forget." Dean runs his hands over his face, he's still holding himself together, but he's on breaking point. "You know, I can't even say I hate you for doing it. Because deep down I-I know why you did it, but that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt really badly. The worst part is…is how much I still love you, how I have _always_ loved you even when I didn't remember you. Because really, you-you don't forget the love of your life, the feeling is still there and no matter what, it always will be." Dean can't hate Cas and he hates that he can't, but he's also he's glad he can't hate him because if he did he doesn't know what would happen. Dean bends down on his knees in front of Cas. Cas doesn't move and his eyes are still looking to Dean. Dean puts his hand on Cas' face and wipes away the blood. Cas whines a little while he does. Dean wipes the blood from his hand to his own jeans. Then he takes of his own hoodie and puts it around Cas' shoulders.

"_Dean_," Cas feels so guilty for everything and Dean being nice to him makes him even guiltier.

"It's okay." Dean pulls Cas up from the ground. "Whatever you do, I'll never stop loving you. I just need time, Cas."

"I…I don't deserve it. Not after hurting you…so bad. I don't deserve you. I…I never have." Cas could leave Dean again, but he knew Dean would find him and they aren't an Angel and Hunter anymore, so whatever happens now, they just have to wait and see.

"No, you don't. But then, I don't deserve you." Cas doesn't think about it, he just wraps his arms around Dean and holds onto him tightly. He was tired from not having Dean all these years, and maybe he should never have done what he did, but it was better him losing Dean than Dean dying. It's different now.

Dean holds Cas tightly against him. If it was anyone else, _anyone_ that had done this to him, made him forgot so much, he would kill them, but this is Cas. The guy who broke his heart, left him and came back again.

"I'm _so sorry_, Dean. I nev-never wanted to hurt you, I-I never meant for any of this to happen." Cas mumbled against Dean's shoulder but Dean doesn't say anything, he just holds Cas.

* * *

Dean had left Cas back at his sister's place before coming back to Sam's and explaining everything to him. Sam is in shock, he couldn't understand it all and he wouldn't until Cas let Sam remember everything again, but Sam believed it all anyways.

"What's going to happen now? I mean, where do you guys go from here?" Sam had to ask. He didn't have a clue what direction you would go from something like this. He was mad at Cas for doing this to them, for hurting Dean like that, but just like Dean, he understood why. Cas always did what he thought was best even if at the time it really wasn't, but maybe this thing was. They would never know what would've happened if Cas hadn't had done this.

"I don't know, man. I told him I need time. I do know one thing though, he's not walking back out of our lives because if he does I just wouldn't be able to cope anymore. It would kill me this time. It would have killed me last time if I had remembered." Dean said, the thoughts of him and Cas from years ago going around and around in his head.

Dean and Sam are sat at the table, the journal opened between them. It hadn't been shut since Cas looked at it. Sam has never seen Dean so hurt before, but he could see in Dean's eyes too, that he forgave Cas already, that he loved him to bits, but that didn't mean he didn't need a little bit of time to process it all.

"You don't want me to kick his ass for you? Seeing as I am your brother." Sam joked to lighting up the mood. That made Dean laugh a little, but he shakes his head.

"I already hit him and it felt horrible. He didn't deserve it no matter what he did. I hate how much I love him." Sam smiled at the idea of his brother loving someone so much. "I remember we used to fight a lot, over everything. Why did we do that Sam? Why did we waste time on fighting?" Dean looked to his little brother for an answer and Sam didn't know what to say, so he just said whatever came out.

"You never know what is going to happen and people always say things like this when something happens, but honestly, there's no point. Because at the time, it's just what happens and _yes_ maybe if people knew what was coming they would change things, but then it wouldn't be real, it might only be done because they know what's going to happen. And when you don't know, that's the realness happening." Sam shocked himself at his own words, his words were truth. They were very truth. "_Look_ how about you and I go get something to eat, then afterwards you go to Cas and just be there with him, alright?" Sam wasn't going to take no for an answer. He would drag Dean to Cas if he had to.

"Okay."

* * *

"Castiel, if you and Dean found each other after all these years it's like you two are being told you should have never been apart." Anna said. She had got home to her brother lying on the couch wearing a red hoodie that wasn't his. And by the look on him she knew something big had happened. It had taken Cas over an hour to tell her everything. Anna too had forgotten everything from when she was an Angel, but Cas telling her, even though she couldn't picture it all, she knew it was all true.

She is sitting on the couch with Cas and has her arms around him, he lies his head against her shoulder. Them being human really had changed the way they acted and from years of getting used to it, they were just like any other brother and sister that were close to each other. And they were closer than most since taking away their grace. It had been just the two of them since then. And when Anna went off to college she nearly couldn't leave. She didn't want to leave Castiel, but he told her to go and that he would visit her every other weekend and she would come down to him and in the days or weeks they had off they would always be together. They only had each other to rely on all the time.

"I _never_ wanted to hurt him but I did." Cas was all out of tears now. It comforted him to have his sister right beside him. It always did.

"We hurt the people we love, Cas. We don't mean to, but we do. And I know you did what you did to protect him and he knows that, just give him time. Believe him when he told you he never stopped loving you. That you never stopped being the love of his life." Anna held Cas closer and kissed the top of his head. She knew Castiel would be okay, he was just going to beat himself over this, but he would pull through and so would Dean. They just needed time. She still believes what Castiel did was the right thing at the time and honestly, being here with Cas is better than it ever was in Heaven. So Castiel's choice, it was the right one for some reasons and wrong for others, but that's the way it will always be.

"I miss you. I don't like being by myself at home." That was the first time Cas had told her the honest truth. She had been gone for just a few months, and he wanted her back, but he didn't say it because he wanted her to be happy. Anna closed her eyes and a tear fell down her face, she sighed in relief. That's what she needed to hear. She wanted him for her to come home.

"_Good_ because I miss you like mad. I hate being apart from you. I'm coming home, Cas. College isn't for me no matter what I told you. _So_, you can have your annoying sister back now." Cas' tears were back. His sister is coming home and he really needed her. He always has. He didn't want to be selfish and ask her not to go to college after what she did for him, but her saying she is coming home made his heart start healing.

* * *

Dean is just pushing his chips around his plate and had only taken a bite from his burger and his drink has been left untouched. Sam had already finished his food and is on dessert.

He had gotten Dean out of the apartment and Dean seemed as okay as he could be. Sam had seen Dean not eating his food only two times in his life and it was always over something that was really hurting him. Sam had kept talking about anything and everything to cheer him up and even thought Dean was listening to Sam and talking, Sam knew he was only doing it for his sake so he wouldn't talk about Cas.

"Sam, this food is not nice. _How_ do you eat here?" Dean asks. Okay, maybe Dean being upset wasn't the reason he wasn't eating.

"It's not that bad. You're just picky. You would rather make your own food now than eat someone else's food." Sam laughed and takes a chip. Dean had to agree that is probably true. Maybe the food really wasn't that bad. Maybe he just didn't feel like eating.

A few minutes later Anna walks through the door and up to the side of the bar. Dean is looking around him when he sees her and remembers her from one of his memories. He doesn't say anything and just gets up and walks over to her. Sam is about to say something but then just watches where Dean is going.

Dean stands beside her and he is pretty sure it's her.

"Anna?" He says and she looks at him, but doesn't recognise him. She nods her head anyway.

"Um…you probably won't remember me, but I'm Dean. Dean Winchester." Then she remembers. She smiles and Dean's surprised, he didn't know what to expect, but he didn't think she would look so happy.

"I don't, no. But at the same time, yes, I do."

"Yeah, it's a little weird. I…how is Cas?" She's handed two take-away dinners and she takes them and thanks the man who gave them to her. She puts one on the counter and holds the other one towards Dean.

"Well, if you want, you can take this to him and see for yourself. I'm sure he would be happier to see _you_ than me." Dean doesn't hesitate. He takes it and says thank you to her. She sees him going back to a table and a guy sitting there that is obviously Sam. Then he's out the door. She heads over to Sam with her dinner.

"So seeing as your brother ditched you and I don't want to go back to my apartment, is it okay to join you?" Sam nods at her with a smile.

"Sure. Anna, _right_? It's a little weird because I know we have met before. I just can't remember." Anna takes the seat Dean was sitting in and opens up her dinner.

"Yeah, it's weird. This whole thing is. But trust me, it will all be okay."

* * *

Dean walks down the corridor and looks for the door number on Anna's apartment door. When he finds it, he stops in front of it, taking a deep breath in and out and pushes the door open. It is dark outside and that makes the apartment dark, the only light is coming from one of the rooms in the hallway. He goes into the kitchen and puts down the take out dinner and seeing that Cas isn't there, he goes back to the door and locks it knowing Cas would have forgotten to do it, and then opened the door that leads into a bedroom. It didn't look like it would be Anna's because there is hardly anything in it except for the bed, wardrobe, drawers and a table beside the bed that the lamp that was switched on sat on.

Cas is lying on top of the covers on his side, his back towards Dean. Dean walks towards the bed, taking off his shoes, and gently getting onto the bed. Cas didn't move yet, Dean guessed he was asleep and not ignoring him. When Dean moved a little bit more on the bed Cas started to stir. He lay back fully on his back and looked to Dean.

"Dean," Cas asked not believing Dean is here right now.

"Go back to sleep, Cas." Dean unfolds the blanket that was sitting on the edge of the bed and pulls it over himself and Cas. When he had it over them, he lay his head down next to Cas' that is turned to the side to look at Dean. Dean found one of Cas' hands under the blanket and entwined their fingers. "You always did stare at me for too long, didn't you?" Dean smiled. It was like finding out everything today never happened. That it is to deal with for another day, just not tonight. Tonight could feel like everything is okay, and in a way it is, it would just take time for them both.

"You did it too." Cas returned the smile and Dean nodded.

"I did, didn't I? And I am always going to because you are the most amazing, beautiful person I have ever met. And nothing is ever going to make me think differently. I…I couldn't stay away from you. We wasted too much time already."

"I…how can you…after what I did be like this with me?" Cas couldn't understand it.

"Because you are _everything_ to me. And without you I just fall apart, I'm lost. And I swear if you ever leave me again I'll run after you for as long as I have to because you are never walking out my life again."

"I won't. I'm with you for _always_ now. I'm sorry for everything I did. I'm sorry for hurting you because it was the biggest mistake of my life and you are the greatest thing in my life." There are no tears from either of them, there had been so many today and this isn't a sad moment. It's a peaceful moment, a moment putting everything together, piece by broken piece.

"I love you and if _anything,_ yesterday and today proved how much." Cas moved onto his side and leaned his forehead against Dean's, both of them closing their eyes. Dean lets go of Cas' hand putting it on the back of Cas' head and capturing his lips with Cas'. It doesn't last longer than a few seconds. It's just a kiss that passes through them both to say everything will be okay.

Cas leans over and turns of the lamp and rests his head on Dean's chest. Dean has one arm wrapped around Cas' back and the other with his hand holding Cas' again.

"I'll always love you, Dean." Dean smiles at the words. He doesn't reply, he just places a kiss to the top of Cas' head.

They both fall asleep shortly after. And for the first time in years, they both fall asleep feeling at peace and together again.

* * *

_Awwww! Last chapter up Saturday. I wonder what it will be about hehe Sorry for it being late up! THANK YOU FOR READING! :D_


	6. Into our Unknown

_**Five Years Later**_

Dean wanders around the café cleaning up the remaining plates on one of the tables. The last few customers had just left and Dean is on his own now. He brings the plates into the kitchen, leaving them on the counter beside the sink and walks back out behind the café counter, taking the leftover buns and cakes off the display and pops them into a box for later.

A smile appeared on Dean's face as he did so. He thought of the past five years. So much had happened and he never thought he could be this happy because growing up the way he and Sam did, it was hard to think that there would have been a happy time that would last, but it did happen and it _is_ happening.

When Cas and Dean had found each other again that one weekend, from then on it haven't been easy. There were fights, but it has never been bad enough for the other one to leave because if ever one of them did they knew they couldn't handle it, so they never left each other, they held on. It got easier over the months, and those months turned into years. Fights got less, but usually there would be a fight at least once a month, that was just them. They fought, they made up, they fought again, but every time they realized how much they meant to each other, so the fights didn't last as long every time. It could be over silly little things, but at the time to them it wasn't. One of those fights; just two years ago ended up in Cas asking Dean to marry him.

* * *

"_You know, you are such a dick! I do everything for you and you're so freaking ungrateful." Dean shouted across the living room to Cas who was trying to hold back his anger._

"_Dean, I just…I don't want to. How does that make me ungrateful? I don't want to go because it's like I am not even there. Your friends, they don't like me and I don't know why!" It hurt Cas every time he went with Dean to meet Dean's friends. They would pretend to like Cas for Dean's sake, but Cas knew they didn't want them there. He had never done anything to them and it was only now that Cas is telling Dean._

"_That's bullshit! They do! They talk to you…they…yeah, they do. I-I never noticed. Fuck!" Dean drank every time he was with them, but not enough to be drunk, but must be enough to make him not notice his friends didn't talk to his boyfriend that much. They always said hello and Dean can't remember them actually having a conversation with Cas that didn't involve both Dean and Cas talking. Dean liked the guys, he had only known them for a few months and Cas had only met them three times and in those three times Dean hadn't noticed. They had never asked about Cas either, only when they asked if Cas was coming out with them. Shit!_

_Dean sat down on the couch with his head in his hands. Cas walked over to Dean, sitting down sideways, one leg on the couch and the other handing over it. He looked to Dean and put one of his hands on Dean's arm and pulled it down from his face so Cas could see his face and Dean is crying, but he didn't want Cas to know that. He tried to lift his arm back up, but Cas wouldn't let him._

"_Don't cry, okay? I hate when you cry because you know it makes me cry too." Dean doesn't look to him. He lets his left hand move up to Dean's face and wipes away the tears from his face. "You can't notice everything that happens, you know."_

"_I should…I…should have noticed. I'm…I'm such an idiot, Cas."Dean leans into Cas' touch and closes his eyes._

"_Yeah, but you are my idiot. And I happen to love my idiot and forgive him." That made Dean let out a little laugh. He looks at Cas now with so much sorry written all over his face while Cas has forgiveness all over his face._

"_How many times are we going to have…to forgive each other?"_

"_When we both stop being idiots." They both chuckle and just like that everything is okay again._

"_I didn't like them that much anyway. They are okay, but when someone doesn't like you, screw them."_

"_Dean, don't stop being friends-"_

"_Castiel, do not argue with me. You would do the exact same for me. I can live without them, but I can't live without you."_

"_Then…marry me, Dean. Marry me because I can't live without you either." It's not like either of them haven't thought about it before, but between Dean setting up his café and Cas running the homeless shelter in town they both hadn't seen each other that much and it was gone out of both of their heads through it all, but it was always there in the back of their minds. They were in no rush, they were happy and being happy is all they needed._

"_Were already married." Dean joked trying to hide his excitement of what Cas just said. They always had to tease each other before getting an answer._

"_Well, then…" Cas got down on one knee in front of Dean and took Dean's hands in his and looked up into Dean's eyes. "Will you divorce me, then marry me again." Cas and Dean laughed. "Marry me, Dean Winchester. And I promise if you do, I will cook you the best dinner once a week for the rest of my life."_

"_Cas, you are really bad at cooking that doesn't come from a packet." Dean earns himself a hit in the arm from Cas. "Ow!"_

"_I am not! If you don't give me an answer I am not asking again." They both knew that is a lie, but they both knew he wouldn't have to ask again._

"_You know the answer. You always have. Yes, Cas. If there's one thing I am sure of, it's marrying you." All the joking was gone when Dean spoke those words and is replaced with his biggest smile. Cas is about to burst with happiness. He gets up from his knees and jumps on top of Dean, nearly knocking back the couch. _

"_Cas!" Dean laughs as the couch stops moving. Dean holds onto Cas' waist, who has his legs either side of Dean's and is sitting down on Dean's legs, his arms around Dean's shoulders. Dean shakes his head and Cas leans his forehead against Dean's._

"_Dean,"_

"_Um Cas,"_

"_You're the best thing that ever happened to me." Cas knew Dean knew it, but Cas just liked saying it, reminding Dean and he's pretty sure Dean liked to be reminded that he did._

"_Well good. Because you're the best that ever happened to me, you adorable idiot."_

* * *

Cas is walking back to the café in the dark. He had just finished up with work and is looking forward to be going out for dinner with Dean, Anna, Sam and of course little Mary-Grace, Anna and Sam's three year old daughter.

Sam and Anna, like Dean and Cas had fallen fast for each other. In the space of a year they had gotten together, Sam had proposed and Anna got pregnant. Sam finished his teaching course while raising his kid with Anna. Anna had never gone back to college, but she helped Cas with the homeless shelters until she had Mary-Grace. She comes in still to help out when she can. So does Dean and Sam when they can as well. It was nice when they were all together doing good in the world because really it's all each one of them ever wanted to do. And helping the world the way they used to is no longer needed. They never knew how long could go by until something happened to do with Heaven and Hell or just on earth, but just like anyone else, they would deal with it if something ever happened, but for now it was life to its happiness.

Cas is about to cross the street to the café when he sees Dean through the window, Dean doesn't see him though. Cas takes out his phone and rings Dean. He sees Dean pick up his phone and smile.

Dean looks to the name calling and answers it. He's putting the last few buns in the box.

"_Hello_?"

"Hi. I was just wondering if that really handsome guy standing in the little café is also for sale?" Cas tries to put on another voice, but like Dean once said, he is really bad at doing it.

"I don't know." Dean looks up and out the window to see if Cas is out there. He sees Cas on the other side of the road. Dean leans his elbows down on the counter and looks to Cas who is waiting for the red light to go green to cross the road. "Depends on who's asking. I know you're not my husband because he doesn't sound like you at all." Dean's chuckling, his eyes still on Cas who's crossing the road now.

"Well, I'm sure your husband won't mind me having you."

"I'm not sure about that. _See_, we have this thing were we can't live without the other. He won't let me go without a fight, and by that I mean he will kick your ass and never let me go." Cas pushes the door open to the café.

"No, he's really never going to let you go." Cas hangs up the phone and closes the door behind him, leaving his phone on one of the tables and wanders over to Dean, who is still leaning on the counter, his phone beside him. Cas leans his arms on the counter and still has a smile on his face.

"Hi."

"Hey, handsome. Good day at work?" Dean asks. Cas nods his head and looks into the box.

"Always. Did you?" Cas asks as he goes to put his hand in the box.

"Yes. _No_, you are not getting any." Dean takes the box off the counter and wanders in the kitchen with it. Cas follows him saying _please_ over and over again.

"You are worse than Mary-Grace. She totally takes after her Uncle Cas." Dean chuckles and puts the box into the fridge. He turns back around to see Cas sitting on one of the kitchen counters with a small piece of cake in his hands, that he had taken off the last plate Dean had brought in and put beside the sink. Cas is already chewing on a bit of it with the last remaining piece in his hand. Dean looks at him with a disgusted look on his face.

"Did you just eat someone's leftover food?" Cas nodded his head happily. Dean walks over to Cas and knocks the piece of cake out of his hand.

"_Deeeaaaaan_!" Cas moans as he watches the piece of cake fall onto the floor. Cas pouts and looks away from Dean, pretending to be mad. He is really hungry and Dean couldn't even let him eat that piece of cake.

"_We_ are going for dinner and eating cake will just make you not hungry, it always does." Dean chuckles at Cas pouting, he always finds it really adorable. Dean wraps his arms around Cas' back and pulls him in closer to him. Cas turns his head to look at Dean.

"You know you're not mad at me. Because if you were you wouldn't be looking at me like you _really _want to kiss me."

"That's a kill look, Dean." Castiel says serious, holding back his smile. Dean just played along with him.

"Is it? Because I am pretty sure that is the look you give me every time before we kiss…"Dean places a kiss to Cas' cheek. "And then leads to touching…" Dean runs one of his hands up Cas' back. Cas closes his eyes at the touch. "Clothes come off and we're making love." Dean kisses down Cas' neck, then back up and leaves his lips just a few inches apart from Cas' and looks deep into Cas' eyes. Cas looks to Dean's lips and back to his eyes. Cas brings his hands up to the back of Dean's head.

"I guess you really _are_ the love of my life." Cas whispers. Dean and Cas's lips slightly touch each other's. It's not just one who teases the other, it's both of them. Every time.

"Ummm, _always_." They kiss and Dean pulls Cas closer to him. It's slow, loving and sweet.

The front door opens and slowly Cas and Dean pull their lips away from each other and gaze to the other. They know who it is and _damn it_ they could kill them, but also at the same time they are glad they are in the café.

"Dean! Cas!" Sam calls out from the sitting area part.

"Damn our family." Cas whispers and jumps down from the counter, still holding onto Dean.

"We _could_ just pretend we aren't here." Dean whispers back and places a quick kiss onto Cas' mouth.

"Yeah because we would really leave downstairs unlocked and we live upstairs, Idiot." Cas chuckles, he goes to get out of Dean embrace, but Dean holds onto him. "Dean,"

"Your Idiot."

"Yes, sweetheart, _my_ Idiot." Now Dean drops his arms to let Cas go, but Cas grabs Dean's hand in his and drags him out the front.

"_Uncle Cas_!_ Uncle Dean_!" Mary-Grace runs up to them and into Cas' arms. Cas picks her up with a massive smile. She is still so little, she looks younger than her age, but her mind is like an adult with everything she knows. She has long black hair that is tied back, a fringe nearly over her eyes, big blue eyes and a smile that could light up the world. She is wearing her favorite purple and blue plaid shirt that Dean had brought her. He had told her she could look like her Daddy with it on. She laughed and said she wanted it.

"How's our favorite little kid in the whole world?" Cas asks. Anna and Dean take a seat at one of the tables and look over to them.

"Good! Daddy and Mommy said I can stay with you and Uncle Dean tonight." Anna and Sam hadn't told her until tonight because she would have been too hyper.

"I'll have two kids to mind tonight then, _won't I_?" Dean jokes and makes his niece laugh. Cas turns to Dean and sticks out his tongue. "_See_!"

"Well, _one_ of those kids promised to be extra nice. I can't say the same for my brother." Anna says with a laugh.

"Guys, leave him alone. He has to put up with Dean; he deserves to be a kid." Sam looks over to his brother who is giving him a bitch look.

"Alright, let's go before you start on me." Cas puts Mary-Grace back down and she runs to the door. "Cas, will you get the keys, I left them in the kitchen." Cas goes back into the kitchen to get them. He picks them up and wanders over to the fridge, opening it quietly and taking out one of the buns. He holds the bun in one hand behind his back and walks back out of the kitchen. Anna, Sam and Mary-Grace are waiting outside the window. The restaurant they are going to is just up the street.

"Got them!" Cas holds them up for Dean to see. Dean locks the cash box and follows Cas towards the door. He looks down to see the bun Cas is trying to hide in his hand. He grabs the bun of Cas from behind.

"Give it back!" Dean puts the bun on the counter, puts his hands on Cas' back and pushes him towards the door and out of it.

"If you ask me, the both of them are kids." Sam whispers to Anna and gives her a kiss on the forehead. She smiles up to him and nods in agreement.

* * *

"Alright you guys, time for bed." Dean announces as the film is over and the credits roll. He looks over to Mary-Grace and Cas who are half asleep, but are trying not to be so Dean wouldn't say what he just said.

"_Noooooo_!" Cas and Mary-Grace moan.

"Uncle Dean one more film. Please, please, _please_." Dean hates to say no to her, but tonight he has to. He shakes his head and gets up from the couch holding his arms out to carry her to bed and she doesn't put up a fight. She turns to Cas and kisses him on the head. He's nearly sinking down in the couch. He gives her a big hug.

"Night, sweetie."

"Night Uncle Cas. Love you." She gives him yet again her bright smile.

"Love you right back."

Dean lets her hop on his back and brings her to the spare room that is pretty much hers because she stays with them so much.

Twenty minutes later Mary-Grace is in bed with her soft toys and close to falling asleep. Dean places a kiss on her head.

"Goodnight, Angel." Dean smiles and gets up from her bed and heads to the door.

"Uncle Dean?" She says tiredly. Dean looks back to her. She has one eye open and the other closed; she looks like Cas when she does that. Dean nods his head to show he's listening.

"Do you…" she yawns. "Do you believe in _Angels_?" The question makes him smile. One day she will know, but not for years and years.

"Yes. I have since I was your age. Mine and your Daddy's Mommy always told me _Angels are watching over you _and they are looking over you too." Dean might have left out the part where he stopped believing, but she never needs to know that.

"Have y-you ever _seen_ one?" _Plenty_. _Too many in fact_. Her face has _wonder_ written all over it and Dean wants to tell her and not tell her at the same time.

"I might have. I don't think you see them, it's more feeling them around you." It's the best way Dean could put it for her. It's an answer a little kid should hear. She should believe in most things and believe Angels were good because being that age you believe the world is a happy place and nothing is wrong and Dean wants her to feel like that for her whole life.

"I think they are watching over us _right now_." She yawns again and turns her head to the side, closing her eyes the rest of the way. "Night, Uncle Dean." She's asleep fast. Dean switches off the light and walks out of the room, shutting the door over a little.

Cas makes Dean jump when Dean sees him standing at the wall of Mary-Grace's bedroom. He's leaning against it, his arms folded over his chest and a smile that shows Dean how much Cas adores him.

"_Don't_ say a word _you_." Dean whispers and walks to the bathroom further up the hallway. Cas follows him into it. They both brush their teeth without saying a word; glances in the mirror to each other say it all. Dean cleans out his mouth, wipes his mouth on the towel and heads out of the bathroom.

He turns off the TV in the living room and then the lights in the kitchen and living room. The only light remaining on in the house is the one coming from the bathroom. Dean opens the door to their bedroom and turns on both of the lamps sitting on the small tables either side of their bed. Dean then looks for his red hoodie that he finds on Cas' side of the bed and puts it on him. He walks over to the window and opens it to look out over the town, seeing it all lit up in the dark. He did it every night since moving in, and doing it made him realize how okay life is, he's happy and it's all he ever wanted, to just be happy. And having Cas, Sam, Bobby, Anna, and Mary-Grace made that possible. Anna, Sam and Mary-Grace live just ten minutes away from them and Bobby live an hour, he wishes Bobby was closer, but they know they could never get Bobby to leave his home to be closer to them. That's his home, just like here is theirs, and an hour is nothing between them really. He would give anything to have his Mom and Dad here, but Dean knows they're together wherever they are and that one day they will be the family they were supposed to be with a few extra family members.

Cas comes into the room, shutting their door over, but leaving it open a little in case Mary-Grace needs them. Dean has told Cas it had always made him feel safer when his Mom and Dad left their door open.

Cas stands beside Dean at the window and looks out to the town all lit up as well. It makes everything peaceful. He closes his eyes, listening to the sounds around him and the feeling of Dean beside him.

"I'm sorry you stopped believing in Angels when your Mom passed away. No kid should ever have to stop believing in something like that so young." Cas looks at Dean who's looking right back at him.

"I'm starting to wonder if I ever really did stop, or if I just told people I did. But if I did, you made me believe again. Not because you are one, just because you made me believe there was hope again. And it is the same hope I felt when I was a kid. No matter what happened since then, I never stopped believing in _you_, in _us_, Cas." Dean puts his hand up against Cas' cheek and rubs his thumb against his skin. "Without you, I wouldn't have believed again." It made Cas' heart break to hear that if Cas hadn't come into Dean's life he might have not believed again. But it made him happy to know he made Dean believe again.

"_Without you_, I wouldn't be on earth right now." Cas never liked to think of what his life would be like now if he hadn't met Dean, so he never does. "You…you said I am one." Cas thought it is just a mistake Dean said, but it wasn't. Dean wraps his free arm around Cas' waist.

"I did. I did because you will _always_ be one to me, Castiel. You never stopped being one to me. But let's just be clear, you're one of the good ones that makes everything better. Not the dick ones. If you ask me it's the falling ones that are the good ones." Cas holds back his little laugh.

"Dean, you pretty much just called Lucifer a good Angel." Dean laughs at himself for not thinking of that.

"Just, stop being a smart ass, Angel." Dean jokes and leans his forehead against Cas'.

"Ummm, okay. Just for tonight. Hey, Dean? You know, I'm always going to _love you_." Every time Cas said those words, it made him feel so warm inside, made him realize how much in love he is with Dean. It could have been a whole different life if it wasn't for them falling in love with each other, not once, but twice.

"I'll always _love you too_, Angel." Dean gives Cas a smile that is meant only ever for Cas, no one else haven't even seen this smile because it is for Cas.

Cas and Dean's lips gently touch and every kiss they ever had always meant something, there is always love passing through them with _every_ touch, _every_ kiss, _every_ look.

It's been said _we see things as we are, not how they are_ and this is the way Cas and Dean see being happy and being in love. It might not be how it is all the time, but it's always there in the distance, ready to hit them and make them realize. When it gets lost, it finds its way back. And the happiness and Love find Dean and Cas again when they get pulled away from each other for years. But _this_ is how the two of them see Love and Happiness. They see it…

_Together_.

* * *

I hope all that read this enjoyed it! I really loved writing it and I was really glad too finally get it up here! Let me know one last time what you thought of the story overall, I would love to hear what you all thought! Hope you all enjoy Supernatural when it comes back on, I can't wait!

Thank you so much for giving this story a chance, it means a lot people actually wanting to read my stories, it's crazy to think of one person reading your stories. THANK YOU guys, have a great Summer or Winter, or whatever season you may be in! :)

**_'You fall in love with the person, not they're gender.'_**


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